I have decided to record my journey with the Big 'C'.  It may be read by someone and it may not it really doesn't matter it is my recordings and thoughts and feelings along the way. 

It all started when I went for my two yearly mammogram.  Had a trainee wanting to learn on me and I was happy for that she needs to learn.  She was an older lady and very nice but had a VERY heavy foot and the pressure on the left side (the side she did) was excruciating.  My poor boob was sore for just over a week! 

Then came the phone call.... Could I travel over to the nearest city and have another mammogram and
ultrasound the next day.  They wanted me there at 10am and as it is a good hour and three quarters away it meant and early start.  But yes I would go.  Gave me vague directions so I looked it up on good old Google Earth.  Mmmm the address was a funeral directors. I took that as an omen. 

I was up and away, not telling anyone what was happening, the next morning.  Found the building (the funeral directors had been demolished and a lovely big 3 story building had replaced it) and parked in the car park over the road.  Went up and was led into the room for the mammogram by a lovely lady and had that and she showed me "the" lump.  It was very obvious and my heart sank.  Then went in to have my ultrasound.  A nice young man got to play with my 'very' generous boobs.  Said it seemed to only be the one (there was a shadow on the other) and it was definitely cancer.  I went cold and thought I was going to pass out.  I had thought I was prepared but really I wasn't at all.  Next it was going to be a biopsy.  But that would be an hour later so "Go and get lunch and a coffee"  Yea right, like I wanted to eat anything. I just wanted to be sick! The two ladies who dealt with me were amazing and so very nice. 

Made it to the car and out of the car park having decided to just go to the beach and sit for a wee while and digest it all when the cell phone rings and they want me back, the surgeon had arrived.
Back I went to the car park and up to the 1st floor again.  Stripped my clothes off again I was getting very good at this. And this elderly man who reminded me of those photos of Einstein came in and introduced himself to me. (I can remember no names at all) He was the 'big' surgeon over there and he had a 'play' with my boobs too.  Suggested that I might prefer to have surgery over here closer to home and that perhaps with my history (My Mum died of breast cancer) I might want to discuss a double mastectomy with the surgeon over here.

Now in walks yet another man and this is the surgeon who is going to do the biopsy.  It was done with ultrasound.  The local didn't work.  Talk about amazingly painful.  I didn't really know much about biopsy's I have to admit. They use a gadget like the humane animal bolt killers but with a needle on the end.  There is a bang and it fires in and takes a bit of you back out with it. Not a nice thing at all and especially when the pain meds don't work.

When all of this was done I was left to drive back home alone with lots to think about. 

Now several days later I have told one friend locally and one in a distant city.  Haven't even told my husband.  I am a very private person and I just don't want to share at present.  I need 'ME' time to absorb it all.  Have an appointment with my doctor to arrange the surgeon in just over a week as I had already booked a few days away with a friend whom I haven't told and wont for a while. (once she knows the whole town will).

So this is the beginning of my story.... I WILL BEAT THIS